Smokey and the Car Wash

Some months ago I promised you I'd  relate to you the story of my dog Smokey and our car wash adventure.  This is it. I hope you get a chuckle out of it.....

Smokey and the Car Wash

One day, several winters ago, Smokey and I were in town, running errands. (He likes to go to the bank drive through - they give him biscuits). On the way home, I decided my car could use a washing, so stopped at the car wash.

It never occurred to me to worry about what Smokey would think of it. In fact, I thought he might like it. Uh . . . wrong!

You have to realize here that, although Smokey is a good sized dog - Collie sized - brave he is not! And he's not a "water dog". Also keep in mind we were in my Buick Century. Not a large car. With bucket seats in front. And Smokey was in front, in the passenger seat - sort of (he’s a little big for it).

There was one car inside the car wash and one car ahead of us as I pulled into line. Smokey seemed interested, as he is whenever we do something new. He perked up as I lowered the window and pushed my money into the machine, thinking it might be another bank or McDonalds, I guess, then settled down and watched the car ahead of us.

The door of the car wash opened, steam billowed out into the cold air, the car ahead of me moved ahead, entering the car wash and, as I moved up and the door closed, Smokey saw the wash arms move into position and the underbody wash start up, sending a fine mist onto my car. He flinched then slowly turned to me with a look that clearly said, "No . . . Tell me we are NOT going in there!" and started to shake. I have never seen a dog shake with fear or nerves like Smokey does. His teeth even chatter! And the ultra sonic whining began.

I optimistically told him it would be fine, fun even! But he was having none of it. As the doors opened again and we drove forward he started to drool. The water jets hit the underside of the car . . . he tried to get in my lap. Because of the mass of dog in my face, I didn't quite hit the spot where my tire should go and had to jostle the car a bit getting into the right spot (while trying to put Smokey back in his seat).

The arms came out and began moving around the car . . . Smokey began barking his high pitched "Collie bark" (anyone who's had a Collie probably knows it) and leaped/crawled (over me) into the back seat. Then back into the front (over me again) as they sprayed the front of the car - still barking. But that wasn't the worst of it.

Then the part I like most, the soaping, began. I think it's peaceful – the slight hiss of the soap as it coats the car, making the inside of the car sort of like a warm, dim cocoon (okay, I'm weird). Smokey didn't see the warm cocoon part of it. All he saw was that SOMETHING was keeping him from seeing out! The barking gave way to howling. Full throated, throw-back-your-head-and-let-er-rip howling.  I think my ears started to bleed then, but I was laughing too hard to worry about it!

He decided it was his job to clear away whatever was on the windows and began clawing at the window on his side. As the soap was being rinsed off by then he must have thought it worked, because he came over (into my lap) to my side to do my window. And hit the horn button on the steering wheel. Which scared him. And made him start barking again.

Finally (after the longest car wash I've ever been in) the exit door opened and, after a brief spell in the dryer's wind jets, in which he crawled onto the floor of the car and whimpered – thinking, I suppose, it was a tornado, we went home - my ears still ringing and the poor dog traumatized for life!